I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
