Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
