I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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