my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
