Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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