drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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