Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
