Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
