So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
