you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
