Kiss
Puke
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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