Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
