nut hugger
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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