and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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