U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
