i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
