i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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