its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
