Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
