We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
