Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
