u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
