How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
where are my eyebrows?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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