Midget sex pt 2 tonight
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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