I hate all girls vehemently.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
