If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
