flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
