69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
