She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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