I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
