I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
