I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
