South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
