i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
