Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
