Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's blow job season.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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