she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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