I could have mohawked her pubes.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
