I wish my penis had an off switch
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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