wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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