can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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