how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
