Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
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