I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize