remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
