Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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