porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
