Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize