Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
