I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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