Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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