i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
