There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
