why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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