He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
