so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
