"it" just moved
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
