At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
