Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize