YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
