So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
