Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
