fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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